Not Until I Know
by QuietLittleVoices
Summary: Castiel is a prince. Dean is his servant, and only friend. When King Michael tells Castiel the he should marry Princess Megan from the neighbouring kingdom, it's just the push he needs to tell Dean his true feelings. If they only have a short time, then what does he have to lose?


Ever since he was a child, Castiel has been subjected to boring political meetings with his brothers. He'd asked his mother, once, why she insisted that they all be there when, after she died, Michael and Lucifer were going to split the throne. She'd told him simply that it was because he may run land for himself one day and have to attend these meetings, though not as a king.

Lucifer betrayed their family and was subsequently sent into exile when Castiel was eight. He barely understood what was happening at the time, and he never fully would because no one would ever tell him. They treated him as a child, even though he wasn't the youngest of the brothers.

Shortly after that, Castiel was given a personal servant – a boy with green eyes named Dean.

Dean was older than Castiel, but not by much. He was surly and bad-tempered at times, but Castiel liked him. Castiel liked Dean a lot more than he knew he should, so he kept those thoughts to himself. Because, after all, he was a prince, and though he wouldn't inherit the throne there were still things _expected_ of him. And Castiel held no illusion that Dean could possibly return his affections; he knew that he was odd and quiet and didn't always understand jokes that were made around him. He wasn't someone that anyone would want to spend so long with.

Queen Naomi passed when just after Castiel turned seventeen. He didn't cry, but Dean held him through the night anyway, and for that he was grateful. If only because it granted him a few hours in Dean's arms – and he was fairly certain that that memory would hold him over for a lifetime. At least, he hoped it would, because he knew that it would have to.

It happened less than a year later, something he'd always been expecting and had been surprised hadn't happened yet. He'd been beginning to hope that it never would; that they'd forgotten about him entirely. Michael came up to him and told him there was a beautiful princess in the neighbouring kingdom named Megan, and if he would marry her it would improve the relationship between the two kingdoms greatly.

"Do I have a say in this?" Castiel asks carefully, eyeing Michael to try and see what the king's emotions were.

"She requested it be you she must marry, Castiel; if you are willing, that would be the best. But her father has no preference which of us she marries. It can just as easily be you as Inias or Samandriel."

Castiel nods slowly. "Can I at least get the night to think it over?"

"Of course! I am not required to give King Crowley an answer for some time. You may think this decision over carefully; I understand that it's important to you." Michael walks off stiffly, not wanting to linger and have to socialize. Castiel appreciates that; equilibrium is easier kept in their family if they all keep to themselves as much as possible.

He continues down his path and exits out into the courtyard, watching the servants run this way and that – in doors and out others, carrying laundry and pots and pans and boxes and all manner of things that Castiel recognizes from around the castle. He sits on the edge of the fountain until Dean finds him there and sits next to him.

"Don't you have work you should be doing?" Castiel asks easily.

Dean tilts his head back and closes his eyes, drinking in the sun. "My work is looking after you."

"Michael wants me to marry Princess Megan."

The servant turns his head to look at Castiel but doesn't react at first. "Do you want to?" he asks, choosing his words carefully.

Castiel shakes his head. "Not really, no."

"Why not? You seemed to get along with her well enough the last time her family was visiting."

The prince shrugs. "She's not what I want."

"What do you want?"

Castiel decides not to answer that, and they sit in silence by the fountain until the call for dinner sounds, then they rejoin the commotion. After the silent event with the royal family, they escape together to Castiel's room as they do every evening.

"There is a real reason why I don't want to marry the princess," Castiel tells his friend quietly as they walk down the corridor.

Dean tries to supress his eagerness to know the answer. "And what is it?"

They take a few more steps and then enter Castiel's bedchambers. The moment Dean shuts the door, Castiel grabs the collar of his tunic and pulls them together. He ignores his own nervousness and takes just a moment of courage to surge upwards and kiss Dean as hard as he could, the way he'd wanted to since they were both fourteen years old.

When he pulls away, Dean looks dazed.

"I don't want to marry her because I'm in love with you," Castiel says, voice more confident than he feels. "And I didn't want to make a final decision until at least I'd tried that. I wanted you to know." He takes a step back and licks his lips. "It's alright if you don't reciprocate; feel no pressure to. If you don't, I'll have myself a wife soon, I suppose. But if you do…." He waits with baited breath, hoping against logic that Dean felt the same – that Dean wanted this, too. But more than that, he wanted it to be Dean's choice, and not just the servant telling him what he wanted to hear.

"I do," Dean breaths after a moment, and Castiel feels his shoulders relax. "I've loved you for _years_, Cas. I never… I never thought you felt the same." He presses forwards into the other man's space and kisses him breathless. "You'll say no, right? To the marriage?" Dean asks between kisses, sounding almost scared.

Castiel nods. "Of course." He presses another kiss to Dean's mouth. "In the morning."

It takes them until the next afternoon to tell Michael that Castiel didn't plan on marrying the princess. The king didn't look terribly surprised when he saw their fingers linked together, but he didn't say anything. If he even smiled, just a little, at seeing his brother happy, well… no one had to know.


End file.
